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The food was delicious, the group was fun, there wasn't any drama, it was just a great night.I was saying my goodbyes to everyone and I noticed Kaycee looking down at her phone. I quickly ran over to her and said, "What are you doing right now?"She said, "I was getting ready to call the uber."I said, "Don't. I'm going to stop at Nick's bar when I leave. That's on the way to your place, isn't it?"She bit her lip, then smiled, and said "That sounds fun. I'll wait here until you're done."I said, "Can you get us another round? Here's my card."I said the rest of my goodbyes and met her at the bar with our drinks. We had those and continued flirting. We both knew what was going to happen.We went out to my car and left the parking lot.After a couple minutes of silence she said, "Are we meeting people at Nick's or do you just feel like stopping there?"I said, "I just felt like going there. It's a fun bar."She looked over at me and said, "Let's just go to your house. I'd rather have a drink. What point would there be in abducting inhabitants – taking up a specimen from a planet – unless we could make them immobile on examination tables and then conduct orifice probes? How could our planet sustain her citizens’ welfare if not for all the job opportunities in the manufacture of all the different tools and gadgets we now have available for whatever the orifice probe requires? Or would you prefer to put lubricant designers out of business?”Making one last attempt at a facsimile of understanding, the guard (who had in those days held the rank of Intimate Operations Observer) asked, “Very well, I understand the tradition an,d in some ways, I do revere it as much as any fellow extraterrestrial. But must they endure those feelings of not knowing what will happen? And must they always be tied up with their legs spread? Oh, and I do not wish to put lubricant designers out of business.”“Hmph. Yes, as you say, or as your nearly nonexistent lips appear to say. What gives me greater.
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